I had one of these today. I have a love hate relationship with a gelding. It’s more of an anxiety thing for me. Lynx is my man. Like… I know what we are going to do before we do it. But the other… my brain takes over and I just can’t get over myself.
Today I had an ah ha moment. I had a little anxiety at the start so I rode Lynx first. Then I rode him. We warmed up and took in all the new sights and sounds. I love this horse with all my heart but my brain just hits all sorts of new levels on him. So instead of challenging myself, I put him up for sale.
Naturally, after I have a legit person to come try him, I some how got over my brain and rode with my heart. I finally pushed him on the barrels! And it clicked. I knew how to ride him. I knew what he needed from me and what to expect. He did awesome! At first I was like… crap. I should keep him but in the back of my mind, I know I need to sell him. See, I have another Lynx sibling cooking and I just don’t need that many horses. But this one… this one that I love but don’t run…. has always been special. I just tend to let my brain override my heart.
But today, I did it. I got over it. We had nice runs. We had a nice ride. If he doesn’t sell for a year, I’m ok with that. I might start to run him regularly. I’m at peace with my decision. I concurred my fear. I ignored my brain. He is nice. And I now know I’m not selling over my anxiety.
Sometimes we need to just let it go and trust our skill set. That is what happened today. So what ever God has planned, I’m ready.